Note: I am going to be using myself as an example since it is the one I know best. It will also generally use Egyptian gods, as those are what I know and work with.
Stage 1: Deep Introspection
In his work Mindstar, Aquino wrote that, “until you are clear as to what you are and what you are not, and what these differentiations are, you cannot make an intelligent decision concerning your behavior and its rationale.”
In his paper The Theme of Separation of Heaven and Earth in Egyptian Mythology, prominent Egyptologist Hermen Te Velde states that, “the difference between being and non-being is that being is differentiated; the cosmos exists because it is differentiated into heaven and earth.”
Everyone has heard the term “know yourself,” but few seem to ever seriously consider what this entails, nor do they seem to ever actually go about doing it. You cannot know who your patron is if you do not truly know yourself. Most pretend they delve into the depths of their own Self, but few ever truly seem to do so. The entire concept of the Jungian Shadow is based around this fact, that is why it is called such, and the Egyptians were aware of this aspect as well. Honesty is key, a true inventory of one’s strengths and weaknesses, pros and cons, from the mask they wear in public down to the parts of the shadow hidden even from themselves.
Stage 2: Comparative Mythology
The next goal would be a deep dive into comparative mythologies. You not only need to find what specific deity you relate to most, first you must discover the pantheon and tradition they belong to before narrowing it down. Note that this is, in no way, tied to anything of the material world, such as ethnicity, birth culture, and so forth. The idea of “cultural appropriation” in the realm of esotericism and spirituality is absolute nonsense, and likely a meme that has been very intentionally released. Is the 400 year stele, where Set is depicted as Ba’al by a king deeply devoted to Set, cultural appropriation? Is the association between Thoth and Hermes cultural appropriation? If so then this was certainly not a problem for the polytheistic traditions.
To start, the best way is honestly just casual investigation. Gut feeling plays a huge role in this, you are looking for what feels right essentially. May sound a bit new agey, just realize these are all simply cultural interpretations of the same entities and forces - as recognized by the ancients themselves. What resonates with you? Is it Egyptian? Norse? Shintoism? Demonology? What really grabs your consciousness and holds your attention, what do you find yourself thinking back to at work or as you fall asleep? That is what you want to look into more.
Next is the academic part - I think it is great fun, surely others do not! You are looking for the truest, least corrupt understanding that our predecessors had of these pantheons, myths, and traditions. This can take a very long time, but that is the nature of the path.
The wayfarer, Perceiving the pathway to truth, Was struck with astonishment. Iwas thickly grown with weeds. "Ha," he said, "I see that none has passed here In a long time." Later he saw that each weed Was a singular knife. "Well," he mumbled at last, "Doubtless there are other roads." - Stephen Crane
You still want to keep in mind the gut feeling though, through the whole process. Essentially this stage is about taking what you learned about your truest, deepest self and nature in Stage 1, and seeking an entity that has a similar nature, plus that gut connection.
Stage 3: Personal Mythology
A few years of work have passed, and you are now familiar with both yourself and the pantheon(s) you resonate with most. Hopefully there are now a handful of gods from that pantheon you are focusing on and ready to dive deeper into.
Now, beyond the objective/academic traits of these beings, it is time to compare your experiences and stories to theirs. Do your characteristics match theirs? Are there similarities between your lives, beliefs, practices, and so on? It is important to be honest and not choose the connection you simply wished existed, but the real one.
Stage 4: Ritual Experimentation
I cannot tell you how to specifically reach out to each deity, as I most likely do not know you well enough, nor the gods they are drawn to as life is only long enough to become deeply familiar with a few. Here is how I would recommend one to reach out very generally, and it can easily be edited to your needs and those of the deities you are working with.
Go to a location sacred to them at a time associated with them, so for Set at night in the desert is ideal.
Hopefully you know what star, constellation, or aspect of the earth they are associated with, this should be focused on. So for me I would face the big dipper.
If you cannot actually go to such a place, use an image of the star/constellation/plant/animal/etc.
Bring things for an altar relative to the god, for Set that might be meteoric rock, lettuce, beer, something red colored, etc.
If you are using inspirations such as texts or images, try to use the most pure, least demonized or corrupted forms and verses. For instance this is why I exclusively use the Pyramid Texts and not, say, Book of the Dead.
Write out a ritual or utterance to the god, or find one that resonates. This really has to come from you and not me.
Go to the place you are going to do the ritual, bring all the items needed or desired for your patron and your own preferences. Set up an altar and all that good stuff.
Recite your utterance or whatever it is, do whatever ritual workings connect with you and that you have found in association with the specific deity, just do what feels right. There is no correct way to do ritual, and often it is more for us than the deity. I personally just visualize and meditate, some people dance and jump around, some scream, follow your will.
Close out the ritual in an appropriate way, clean up after yourself, and go back about your business.
You are looking for synchronicities now that connect with the deity, for changes in yourself or your perception, surely you are familiar enough with magic at this point to know how to tell if a working was effective for you. If nothing happens maybe try once more then move on, if something does in fact happen, absolutely do it again and see if the connection strengthens or peeters out. This is going to be a very, very long process. You want to account for things like biases and self-fulfilling prophecies of course, and it helps to have others like friends or family you can communicate with to see if they can recognize the changes as well, to make sure they are truly happening. Patience is also key, as is remembering you are dealing with beings of free will who are not, in any way, predictable in the ways the laws of physics and such are.
Stage 5: Dedication
You know what dedication entails, and I cannot tell you how it will manifest for you personally. For me it came into being through things like writing Behold Set, guest speaking on the topic, altars, teaching about the god to others, even jewelry and tattoos, and now Wandering in Darkness. It is really between you and them, and your understanding of the matter.
But be sure. Dedication can be “wrong” in the sense that maybe you misunderstand yourself or the god, or perhaps something has misled you.
Stage 6: Priesthood
Priesthood is a choice, completely optional even more so than this journey in the first place, though a choice I wish more people would make. It is an open, outward dedication where one proudly represents their true Self and their patron, and seeks to aid others in their wanderings as well. It is important to note that priesthood is not meant in the way of a church, you are not leading people, not telling them to take your hand so you can guide them on their path. It is more about putting yourself, your god, and their information out there so people can find their own way. You are not holding a book of truth before them and stating “this is the way, come!” I try to avoid that as much as possible. The way is always going to be your own.
A man went before a strange God -The God of many men, sadly wise. And the deity thundered loudly, Fat with rage, and puffing. "Kneel, mortal, and cringe And grovel and do homage To My Particularly Sublime Majesty." The man fled. Then the man went to another God -The God of his inner thoughts. And this one looked at him With soft eyes Lit with infinite comprehension, And said, "My poor child!" - Stephen Crane
Stage 7: Deification
The shortest section, for how can one still here truly understand this? Each individual creates their own afterlife when they die. In ancient times the gods all had their own realms, both an esoteric and non-material one, and its reflection in this world - Set as the Big Dipper, Osiris as Orion, Isis as Sirius, Thoth as the moon, and so forth.
(N) has come to his throne, which is greater thatn the two protective goddesses of Egypt. (N) shines as a star. (N) has come and he becomes as a great god. “We see a new thing,” say the primordial gods. “Oh Ennead, a Horus is in the rays of the Sun. The lords of form serve (N), the gods serve him, and he sits in the space of Atum. (N) wins heaven and cleaves it with firmness, (N) is led along the ways of Khepri.” (N) is on his own, the eldest of the gods. - The Pyramid Texts
What that is depends on you, your goals, your patron, and all such things. I cannot tell you what it will be, but I have found a fun and modern example of this idea is the realms of Oblivion from the Elder Scrolls games.